As I write this, I am sitting in a doctor's waiting room, desperately trying to tune out the conversations around me.
For all inquiring minds, I'm not sick, and I’m not pregnant. I’m just anxiously awaiting the mother of all annual appointments.
So far, I've been waiting for nearly an hour, and I've given up hope of escaping any time soon.
I tried passing the time with one of the complementary magazines, but I could only stomach about half of the article on Randy Jackson's gastric bypass surgery. Pun intended.
And so now I’m blogging to you, whoever you might be.
How are my fellow waiting room attendees passing the time while I pretend to be at work on my Blackberry?
Woman # 1 is loudly speaking in exaggerated baby talk to her four-month old son, occasionally glancing around the room to see if anyone will, once again, comment how cute he is. She had an epidural with him, but not with his older sister. The epidural put her to sleep. How do I know? She told us.
Woman # 2, clear across the room I should add, is talking boisterously on her cell phone. She "doesn’t want to go into details because [she's] in a room of people,” but she was in the emergency room all day yesterday because she was bleeding again. The intern who did her pelvic exam admitted out loud he couldn't find her cervix. No, the doctors aren't overly concerned, they just have her on "pelvic rest" until the baby is born. Yes, her husband has been very understanding. Besides, there's plenty of other things they can do to keep things exciting.
Woman # 3 is raving about what an incredibly cute belly woman # 4 has. Seriously, she's been talking about it for at least the last 10 minutes.
Woman # 4 is due on the 25th, but she's so skinny all her friends think she's only 4 months along. Gag me! When I was at 4 months, a woman at church asked me if I was having twins.
This must not be woman #5’s first go around, because she thought to bring a friend. The two of them are planning out an intervention for their other friend who shouldn’t put up with her boyfriend’s crap any more.
Woman # 6 is trying to corral her toddler. He’s wearing those little shoes that squeak whenever he takes a step.
Woman # 7 is politely smiling at the toddler whenever he runs up to her. She's putting up a pretty good front, but you can so tell she wants to rip the squeakers right out of those shoes.
Women # 8 through 12 are either reading their magazines or digging through their purses. I suspect that, like me, they are just trying to appear busy.
Wait? What’s that?
The nurse just called my name! Wahoo!
I’ve never been more thrilled to strip down to a paper robe in my life.
4 comments:
I was just in a similar situation just yesterday. Same type of waiting room, yet much quieter. I occupied my time with glancing at the soap opera that was on (do they make them for ADHD people now? Each second lasted about 30 seconds!) and reading my quiz portion of the Gospel of Luke. Interesting combo huh?
Oh my goodness, that was hillarious. Thanks for the laugh..it's been a rough night. :)
What you don't know is that the docs all sit in the back room and laugh at the TV streaming them video of the waiting room. One finally took pity on you.
Wow, that sounds familiar. Do we go to the same doctor? :)
When I went to my last checkup, I was very disappointed to discover that they'd removed the television from the waiting room. But it is a great place to people-watch. I'm always amused by the uncomfortable-looking boyfriends/husbands who were dragged there against their will.
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