Don't get too cocky after child #1

Look at me! I'm averaging one blog post a year.  Awesome! : )

I had this idea a while back to write Emma a book that I can give her on her wedding day.  I'd love to say that's the reason I haven't been on here, but the truth of the matter is, I've only been averaging one entry every six months on that project.

At any rate, the book is filled with "lessons" I'd like to share with her about being a wife and mother.  I thought I'd share this sample, primarily with three audiences in mind:

1. Publishers who would be willing to pay me up front for a limited audience book that may or may not be finished in 15 years or so.
2. First time mothers who are getting too cocky. 
3. My sisters, who makes me feel good about myself by laughing at all my jokes. 

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Lesson #5: Don’t get too cocky after child # 1.

I was feeling really good about my natural mothering abilities after you were born. Everyone has always been quick to tell me how sweet, smart and well-behaved you are.  I did really good with you.  Truth be told, I’ve occasionally contemplated writing a parenting book just to share my wisdom with less effective mothers.

Then came Jackson. The most common compliment I get about him is that he’s a good eater.

Last night, I had the pleasure of dining with my “good eater” and your grandparents at Cracker Barrel.  It’s really quite amazing how quickly the family next to us ate just to get away from him.  I think they were seated, served and out the door in 20 minutes flat. 

Shortly after the table was cleared, the hostess started to seat another family next to us.  I watched as the father adamantly shook his head no, and then the hostess discreetly moved them to the other side of the room.

Yeeeaaah.  I’ve got some recalculating to do on my parenting tactics.