The wit and charm of Emma Day

Well, it's been a while since I posted. I blame it on Caravans which is consuming my every non-working hour.

When she asked me to consider taking over, last year's director told me, "All you have to do is order badges."

Not that I'm bitter. In my heart, I knew better than to trust the person who was trying to find her replacement so she could quit. And actually, as busy as it's kept me, I'm enjoying every bit of it. Strange, I know.

At any rate, I figured I'd use my lunch time to post some of the funny things Emma's said lately.

If you don't find childish banter amusing, a) what's your problem? and b) come back next time where I will resume discussing nonsensical topics with no profound meaning.

THE ALL ENCOMPASSING EXCUSE

Lately, my daughter has begun applying a universal excuse to getting out of anything she doesn't want to do.

I say, "Emma, finish your vegetables." She replies, "I can't, because my throat hurts."

Or if I say, "Emma, say that you are sorry." She replies, "I can't because my throat hurts."

Or I say, "Emma, go pick up your bedroom." She replies, "I can't because my throat hurts."

You get the picture.

I really don't think she was ever sick to begin with, or if she was, that it has persistantly plagued her throat for 4 1/2 weeks.

MUSIC TO HER EARS

The other day Robert passed gas in front of Emma. (Apologies to my husband for telling this story.)

Emma says, "Daddy, you tooted."

"Yes, I did."

She replies, "It was a beautiful toot."

HOLE IN ONE

We've been helping my sister, Deanna, paint and repair her new home. In the process, the house has been less-than-kid friendly.

So Emma walks into the bathroom and proceeds to fall into a vent where the cover had been removed for paintng. Not baby Jessica style. She just stuck her foot into it, and as she pulled it out, clipped the back of her heel.

Weeping and gnashing of teeth ensued.

Later, Emma had pooped in her pull-up (which gives you an indication of how well potty training is progressing) and so I laid her on the bathroom floor to change her.

She notices the still uncovered vent, and then look up at me with deep concern.

"I hope you don't throw me in that hole."

I didn't know how to reply except to tell her, "I hope I don't either."

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Well, there's been plenty of other things Emma has said to make us chuckle, but alas, my lunch hour is over. I'll resume bragging about her wit and charm some other day.

Thought you'd like to know

Right now, I'm sitting in my office eating a Smart Ones Three Cheese Baked Ziti Marinara meal. It's like, my favorite frozen meal ever. Seriously.

It takes 4 1/2 minutes to cook it to cheesy perfection in our office microwave. Three minutes. Stir. Put back in for 1 1/2 minutes more.

In general, I hate standing idle, so after I hit the initial 3-o-0 on the microwave, I decided to walk down the hall to use the restroom.

I walked down the length of second floor Burke, exchanged pleasantries with Roy and stopped by Deb's desk to evaluate whether or not she had any candy worth taking. Nope, not at the moment.

I walked into the restroom, did my business, washed my hands.

On the way back, I exchanged a second round of pleasantries with Roy who was still in the hall and said "hello" to a girl I assume to be his granddaughter.

I stopped to fix my shoe and then walked into the break room to retrieve my ziti.

There were still 28 seconds on the clock.

Impressed? I was.

Side note: I came one click away from accidently posting this on Olivet's official blog, because I didn't realize what account I was logged in under. Whew! That would have been fun.