Thursday, September 4, 2008

Burning political questions


Phew! I am SO glad the Democratic and Republican national conventions have finally come to an end.




Don't get me wrong ... it's not because they've bothered me. No, it's because I've formed an unhealthy addiction to the coverage of them. Election 2008 is like the world's greatest reality show, and I am hooked!




Except unlike marathons of America's Next Top Model or Project Runway, it's not just the occasional Saturday wasted on couch potatoitis. The house is an absolute wreck, we've had far too many frozen pizzas for dinner, and it's only through massive amounts of caffeine that I'm able to stay coherent at work after flipping between CNN and Fox into the wee hours of the morning.




Reflecting on the DNC and RNC, I'm still left with a few burning political questions:




1. What's with all the hats? Does wearing a a Stetson, a Dr. Seuss top hat, or a stuffed elephant on your head REALLY indicate more support for your candidate?



2. Is the credibility of delegates defined by how many pieces of flair they are wearing? And wear can I buy one of those snazzy, sequin star vests?



3. Does Kool and the Gang get paid residuals every time "Celebration" is played during a rally, or somewhere along the line, did they donate the unlimited use of this classic for the betterment of their country?



4. Can someone please get Donna Brazile some coffee? She's pretty grumpy, and I'm pretty sure it's because someone wakes her up right before the end of the speech so that she can give her obligatory "it was terrible" review.



5. Is it really that hard to make sure your political sign is right side up?



6. What can we do to get these delegates to stop dancing? I admire their enthusiasm, but the arm flailing and booty shaking is somehow lacking. Seriously.... it's embarrassing.



7. Balloons are cool and all, but why don't we try dropping something different from the ceiling just to shake things up? How about 10 percent off coupons to Jewel Osco, or what about Jello Snack Packs? Those always make people happy.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

I agree, but I think they would have to take the jello out of the snack-pack containers first. Otherwise they might have some pretty crazy lawsuits on their hands. The containers have corners that could poke eyes out as people looked up to see what was falling. Would they then pay people to take the jello out of the snack packs? I guess they could just make the jello themselves- then it would already be out. They would definitely have to release it at the beginning of the rally though, otherwise it would warm to much and just be juice. It would definitely start to drip then. They might think that it was blood and there were murder victims being stored in the ceiling.